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Humor 20014
 

Avazi i Nastradinit

Nje here Nastradini po vidhte nje shtepi.
Nje person e pa dhe e pyeti:
-"C'po ben o Nastradin?"
Nastradini duke sharruar celsin tha: "Po i bie violines."
-"Po ku e ke avazin (muziken)?"
-"Avazin do ja degjosh neser"!

More Bir

Disa te rinj pane Nastradinin qe ishte mbeshtetur tek stalla
e gomerve dhe deshen ta tallnin.
Njeri me i shkathet i thote:
- Ku je o Nastradin, O baba i gomerve.
Pergjigjet Nastradini:
- Po ti mor bir pse paske dale prej stalle?

Nastradini ne Turqi me boren.

Gruaja e Nastradinit i thote Nastradinit se e kishte te vogel mikun.
Nastradini shkon ne Turqi per ta vizituar ne mes te dimrit.
Kur nje dite fillon te bjere bore edeh degjon femijet turq
duke bertitur Ka* Ka*
Nastradini kujton se i thone atij dhe kthehet ne Shqiperi
tere qejf se i kishin thene :Ka*".
Kur shkon ne shtepi ja tregon gruas edhe gruaja i beson se ne
te vertet i ishte ritur ai miku:
- A ka shtepi me qera atje te rrime nja 1 vit?.

 

A te puth?


Nastradini sheh nje vajze te bukur ne dasem, e pelqen
dhe i afrohet afer:
-A mund te t'ju puthe qofte edhe nje here?
- e pyet vajzen.
-perse jo -pergjigjet vajza -Vetem se do te duhet
te paguash 5000 leke...
Nastradini nxjerr menjehere 5000 lekshen dhe pasi ja jep, ngjitet
pas buzeve te vajzes dhe mbas nje puthje te gjate i thote vajzes:
- Hmmm, nuk me pelqeu e puthura jote po e kthej mbrapsh...

 

Nastradini shkencetar


Nastradini megjithese nuk dinte te shkruante dhe te lexonte
merr pjese ne nje koference shkencore
Nje shkencetar, qe ishte ulur aty afer Nastradinit, i bie
ne sy sjellja e tij dhe me nje ton talles pyet:
-Cfare ndryshimi ka ndermjet teje dhe gomarit?
Nastradini ja kthen:
-Ka vetem nje pellembe largesi...

 

Nastradini ne Amerike

Nastradini shkoi ne Amerike dhe takoi nje shoqe.
Por Nastradini nuk dinte anglisht.
Shoqja e vet i thote:
- What's up bejbi?
Nastradini ia ktheu
-Bjebi sat eme. Se sheh burrin 2 metra ne kembe.

 

Nastradini Gjumash


-Nastradin! -e shkundi nje nate gruaja Nastradinin.
-S'te vjen keq qe kam tere naten pa gjume
duke tundur djalin qe qan? Tunde dhe ti njecike,
se fundja, djali s'eshte vetem i imi, eshte edhe i yti.

-Ti tund tenden - i tha Nastradini -gjysmen time lere te qaj

 

Nastradini

Nje here nastradinit i vodhen deren e shtepise.ai shkoi ne xhami dhe e mori deren.roja e pyti:ku po e con deren?
nastradini-ju thoni se allahu di gjithcka,kur te me thot se kush e vodhi deren e shtepis time do e kthej deren e xhamis.

 

Nastradini dhe mamaja

Nje dite vere mamaja po pastronte shtepine. duke pastruar ajo hedh nga dritaria objekte te vjetra. mer bufen dhe hedh nga dritaria. vjen nastradini me vrap dhe thote: mami mami cfare ndodhi. mami u pergjigj: asgje shpirt, hodha bufen e vjeter. pas 10 minutash mamaja hedh nga dritaria televizorin. vjen nastradini prap me vrap dhe thote: mami cfare ndodhi? asgje zemer hodha televizorin se ishte vjetruar........... pas disa minutash mamaja degjo nje zhurme nga dhoma e nastradinit. Shkon me vrap dhe e pyet nastradin cfare ndodhi?
asgje mami asgje hodha gjyshen se ishte vjeteruar...

 

Shkoi njeri dhe i kerkoi gomarin Nastradinit.
Nastradini i thot? qe nuk e kam. Ne at? kohe gomari pellet me te madhe.
- Ja ku e ke, - i thot? tjetri.
- Po ti ke beson, gomarin apo mua, - ia kthen Nastradini.

Nxora Doren Me Vodhen Oren!

Nj? dit? nastradini kishte dal? me 3 shok? 1 frances 1 amerikan dhe 1 gjerman.

Dhe kishin menduar te vinin reth e rotull tokes dhe k?shtu bene vajten blene nj? avjon dhe filluan qe nga amerika. dhe nxori doren jasht? amerikani dhe tha ky ?sht? vendi tim se sapo e nxora doren preka Ndertesen e Chicagos. e mir? qe e v?rteta k?shtu b?ri dhe francezi nxori doren dhe tha kjo ?sht? franca se sa e nxora un? doren preka kullen e ifelit. e mir? k?shtu e b?ri dhe gjermani dhe preku murin e berlinit pastaj ishin mbi Shqip?ri dhe nastradini kishte blere nj? ore te mir? pe floriri dhe e nxori dorene po priste s'po dallonte gj? sepse ishin ne greqi mir? po sa ariti ne sektorin e Shqip?ris? ngriti doren dhe pa qe skishte or?n. dhe i than? shoket he mo ku ?sht? vendi t?nd. dhe nastradini tha. "PO JA O KETU JEMI MBI SHQIPERI SE UNE SA E NXORA DOREN TAK ME VODHEN OREN"

 

Nastradini ne burg

Sesi ishte ngaterruar nj? her Nastradini dhe e futen ne burg. Kur erdhi dita qe ta gjykonin, Nastradini i b?ri ca shenja me duar kadiut, si p?r te treguar nj? gj? te madhe. Kadiu nuk e zgjati davane dhe i dha te drejt, duke menduar se Nastradini do t'i jepte ndonj? ryshfet te math. Mbaroi gjyqi dhe Kadiu ju afrua Nastradinin dhe i tha:
-Hajde, tunde at? qe me premtove!
-Un? s'te premotva gj?, kadi efendi, t? thash? se ke kok? te madhe.

 

Nastradini po kalonte ne nj? fshat hypur ne nj? gomar. Diku, se si u tremb gomari dhe e rrezoi Nastradinin ne toke. T? gjith? qe ishin aty rrotull filluan te qeshnin.

- E pse qeshni? - u tha Nastradini. - Un? do t? zbrisja qe do t? zbrisja nga gomari; ai me zbriti vete.

 

Njeri p?r te tallur Nastradinin ("si i paditur qe ishte") e pyeti:

- Sa b?jn? tre here kat?r?

Nastradini p?rgjigjet:

- Po ti v?m? dhe veten t?nde nga pas, b?jn? 120. (pas 12 as nuk ?sht? 0)

 

quot;Njehere hoxhe Nastradini u ngjit ne faltore, p?r te predikuar dhe tha: "Besimtare, a e dini se ca do t'u them?" Ata iu p?rgjigjen: "Jo, nuk e dim?." At?her? hoxha tha: "Kur ju nuk e dini, at?her?, c'mund t'u flas?" Me k?to fjale, ai zbriti nga faltorja, dhe shkoi n? pun?n e vet. Heren tjet?r ai hipi p?rs?ri ne faltore dhe u drejtoi te nj?jt?n pyetje, njer?zit? iu p?rgjigjen: "E dim?." "Pra, p?rderisa ju e dini, d.m.th. qe s'?sht? nevoja qe un? t'u flas?" K?shtu tha dhe p?rs?ri u largua. Besimtaret, te habitur, vendosen qe, kur hoxha te hipi prap? ne faltore, t'i p?rgjigjen: "Disa nga ne e din?, kurse te tjer?t nuk e din?." Pasi u ngjit p?r here te tret? ne faltore, Nastradini, sipas zakonit, iu drejtua popullit me te nj?jt?n pyetje. Pergjigja ishte: "Disa nga ne e din?, kurse te tjer?t nuk e din?." Nastradini duke mbajtur seriozitetin, tha me ze te lart?: "E mrekulluesheme! At?her?, ata qe din? le tua tregojn? atyre qe nuk e din?."



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